Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Why Relationships Fail: 5 Reasons

Fairy-tale Beginnings, Nightmare Endings
A lot of people who are desperate to be loved, find themselves committing to a relationship once they come into contact with a person who does an unusual thing or two to sweep them off their feet.  Relationships like these are rushed into because the couple doesn't take the time to study one another and really find out if they are compatible for one another.  This is what I refer to as a fairy-tale beginning and a nightmare end.  It's a fairy-tale because the way you fall in "love" is so full of dream-like occurrences that you end up being blinded to reality.  When you do in fact come back to earth from this high, the reality setting reveals a multitude of problems that one could consider a nightmare. The Kim Kardashain 72 day marriage is a perfect example of a "love" that began with an fairy-tale yet ended with a nightmare because the couple barely even knew each other.

Lust vs. Love
A big reason why a lot of relationships are short-lived is the lust vs. love factor.  A lot of people find themselves committing to another individual in the form of a relationship simply due to a mutual physical attraction which is mistaken for love.  This physical attraction creates the delusion that there is some form of emotional connection which is worthy of a commitment, when in fact the only connection is in the sack.  In such relationships, the other basic needs of a healthy relationship are not catered to, which leads to dissatisfaction in every regards besides intimacy.   Cheating and a lack of commitment are usually the end results of such relationships, as certain voids are left unoccupied.  In other cases, the two individuals settle for being friends with benefits or simply "cutty buddies."

The Ex-Factor
As I had mentioned in "The Effect of Your First Relationship: First Cut is the Deepest" the ex has the power to ruin future relationships.  Besides the capability of the ex to lure you back into an unsuccessful relationship with lingering problems, the ex has the power to leave a scar on your expectations of a partner.  If your ex cheated, you might falsely expect your current partner to cheat.  If your ex broke your heart, you might find yourself having your guard up, etc.  The ex-factor is one that has the power to disrupt progress in any future relationships.  It is very important to keep your ex's in the rear-view in order to be able to move on in life.

Unsatisfied Needs
As human beings, we all have needs.  Sometimes, the desire to fulfill these needs serve as a major contributing factor to why we develop relationships in the first place.  Be it a need for communication, care, attention, or even sex, relationships tend to be the solution to most of these needs.  Unfortunately, when such needs aren't satisfied, or are no longer satisfied, individuals tend to look elsewhere for fulfillment. This search for fulfillment can sometimes lead to cheating, which ultimately leads to a break-up.   In other cases, this leads right to break-up, depending on how important this unsatisfied need is to the individual.  

Me vs. We
A relationship is meant to be a foundation built on togetherness and commitment to one another; unfortunately, many forget that a big part of a successful relationship revolves around giving up selfish needs for the betterment of the union.  This unwillingness to make sacrifices usually leads to the demise of a relationship.  Doing what is best for you is never a wrong thing, however if you truly value your relationship, doing what's best for the couple should be the priority.  When both individuals are too caught up in pursing what's best for themselves as opposed to what's best for the both as a whole, the relationship typically comes to an end.

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